Diary of The Unknown
by PrincessPika
Summary: What ever happens in the Akatsuki? Konan gives her diary the point of view of the only female in Akatsuki. Rated T for themes, and Hidan's vocabulary. Chapter 4 up!
1. Chapter 1

Naruto is extremely unlikely to ever be owned by me. Or anyone else besides Masahi Kishimoto

**Pairings:** KonanPein

**Diary of the Unknown**

"FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKIN' BASTARD!! FUCK YOU!" Shouted the rather foul mouthed Akatsuki, Hidan.

"SHUT THE HELL UP, I'M MEDITATING!" Yelled back Itachi, pissed off.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! HIS EARS ARE PLUGGED IN!" Came you-know-who.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, TOBI!" Came yells from Itachi, Hidan, Deidara.

"So... What's up, babe?" Asked Kisame to Konan, obviously drunk.

"..." Konan didn't say a thing, but kicked the swordsman, and walked off to her room.

_'Dear Diary,'_ Wrote Konan. She never did like talking to anyone, unless mandatory, or to Pain.

_'The guys are driving me crazy! SCREW THEM ALL! I wish they'd just stop their drinking fests. It gets really annoying getting hit on. I mean, KISAME? Fish head? Eww, I'd rather be soaked in water for the rest of my life then kiss him. And hell yeah, I'm uber serious. I would kinda want in on the sake, but I'll get drunk, and I'm the only girl in Akatsuki. If I get fuckin' pregnant, then FUCK!! Shit, I hear footsteps. Write later._

_'Konan'_

"Yo." Said Pain, as he walked into hi and Konan's shared room**.( I might be wrong, so correct me if I am.)**

"Hi." Konan said, hiding her diary under some clothes." Why did you let Kisame get drunk? He hit on ME!" she said, falling back on her bed, staring at the sky.

"I didn't.It was probably a drinking contest between him and Sasori. Hn, between a puppet and a swordsman, you think he has enough brain to not do that? Sasori is undefeated." The 'leader' of Akatsuki said, looking at his lifelong best friend.

"..." Konan didn't speak, as always. She just sighed, and waited for Pain to go on.

"Why don't you participate in a drinking contest, Konan? You don't have to talk, just drink sake." Pain said, and Konan rolled her eyes. Someone had a few sakes.

"What if I get drunk?" Was all she could ask.

"I'll watch over you. Like always." Pain said, and Konan smiled.

"But I am not drinking when half the guys are drunk. I don't wanna do something I'd regret." She said, walking out with Pain.

"Damn, Konan, you drink a LOT!" Deidara remarked, watching the blue-haired girl.

"Damn straight, Dei. 12 on the first try, I know, i so kick ass!" The slightly drunk Akatsuki said, smirking at the passed out Kisame.

"I'm gonna go to sleep. I'm not that drunk." She continued, and flopped on her bed.

_'Dear Diary,_

_'HELL YEAH! I was in a drinkinbg contest with Kisame, had 12 cups of sake, and I only got slightly drubk. Kisame freakin' passed out! I'm the queen at Akatsuki drinking fests!! I',m tired, so I'm gonna go sleep. Till tomorrow,_

_Konan.' _Konan smiled, and collapsed on her bed, asleep instantly

* * *

My first Akatsuki fic. Sorry if I didn't get the characters portrayed correctly. Just let me know so I can improve, and yes, they are all alive. Especially deidara, whom is awesome!


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto is extremely unlikely to ever be owned by me. Or anyone else besides Masahi Kishimoto

**Pairings:** KonanPein

**Diary of the Unknown**

Konana sighed. It was an extremely awful day. For once, it was hot. And another thing, the men decided to have a man off. Yeah, all 9 guys were not bathing. For a week. It was all Kisame and Hidan's fault. They just HAD to have a bet that they didn't smell bad. TRhen the rest of the guys got in on it.

_Dear Diary,_

_THE FUCKIN' ASSHOLES ARE HOLDING A RETARDED MAN OFF!! Pein, Itachi, Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu, Tobi, Deidara, Sasori and Zetsu are not bathing for a week. And trust me, they smeel like shit! SCREW THEM!! Gotta go, I can smell Kisame from a mile away. The only advantage is, that i can smell them., Oh, and sadly, I'm forced to be the judge. I, Konana, in sane mind give all my belongings to Pein. And tell him that I've loved him all my life. That is my last will. Also, tell Itachi to stop being such a bitch, tel Kisame to not smell like fish guts, Hidamn that he is a bastard, Tobi to be quiet, Deidara that he looks like a GIRLY girl, and Sasori that he should stop playng with dolls. Oh, and Zetsu is creepy._

"Yo, Konan, judging Time!" Kisame called, and Konan sighed.

"If I live." She muttered, and stepped out into the living room.

"Here are the rules." Konan said, and sighed.

"Each of you will come at me until I tell you to stop. The one who gets the closest is the winner. The one who's the farthest is the loser. In the event of a tie, both guys will spar for 15 minutes, and I'll rejudge. Got It? Oh, and If I live, which I slightly doubt, You are all taking a shower for a looong time. and promise me, no more MAN OFFS!" Konana explainbed, and sat down.

"Lety the torture begin. Sasori, Tobi, Deidara, Kisame, Zetsu, Hidan, Kakuzu, Itachi, Pein, please go in the order."

Sasori walked first. He only made it halfway to Konan before she gagged.

Tobi ran in, and only made it 1 foot from where he was standing.

Deidara made it the farthest out of the 2 before him. He was about 10 feet from Konan.

Kisame made it 2 feet farther then Tobi.

Zetsu got about 15 feet from Konan.

Hidan, well, he got about 6 feet from Konan. But, he was disquallified for cheating, which resulted in a lot of swearing, and a tranquilizing gun being pulled on him.

Kakuzu made it 19 feet from Konan, and she had to yell at him that there was no money involved when he asked for the prize for his place.

Itachi made it the 2 closest to Konan. She sighed, and said that it was in his Uchiha genes to smell good.

Pein was the winner, as always. He didn't smell too bad, and all the guys objected.

"KONAN, YOU FUCKIN' LOVE LEADER-SAMA!! NOT FAIR!" Yelled Sasori, pissed off.

"Oh, Shut up." Itachi muttered, and glared at Pein and Konan."Hn. Uchiha's don't get 2nd place." he grumbled, walking to his room.

"WAHH! TOBI SMELL LIKE POOPOO!" Tobi cried, and Deidara hit him over thje head.

"I can't believe you let love get in the way, unn." He said annoyed, and walked off.

"..." Zetsu just rolled his eyes, and walked off.

"I DEMAND MONEY!" came Kakuzu, and Konan threw a yen at his head.

"Here, money." She said.

"Whatever." Kisame said, and walked away.

"Soooo." Pein said, looking at Konan, who yawned.

"Don't continue that thought until you take a shower. A long one too." She said, and walked to her room.

* * *

My first Akatsuki fic. Sorry if I didn't get the characters portrayed correctly. Just let me know so I can improve, and yes, they are all alive. Especially Deidara, whom is awesome!


	3. Chapter 3

Naruto is extremely unlikely to ever be owned by me. Or anyone else besides Masahi Kishimoto

**Pairings:** KonanPein

**Diary of the Unknown**

_Dear Diary,_

_Today, Tobi decided that we play... Moment of Truth. Rather, Deidara and Tobi(Or Madara... I'll just call him Tobi. Madara-sama's too serious. Uchiha's are weird) love that show, and convinced Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, Zetsu and Pein to watch. I guess only Sasori, Itachi and I don't watch. Who wants to be in a room with 9 guys watching people answer to embarassing questions? Yeah, really fun, so I watch by myself in My room. But sssshhh, it's a secret. So, off to get tortured. See ya! Ja Ne!_

_-Konan_

"So, can Tobi explain the rules, Leader-sama?" Tobi asked, jumping up and down beside the lie detector machine.

"Fine." Pein said, and sighed.

"YAY!! Tobi will explain the rules now. Everyone listening? So, since there are 10 of us, We will each ask 1 question to the person. Geddit?" Tobi screamed, and everyone nodded, or in Itachi's case, 'Hn'ed.

"So, Who'se gonna go first?" Konan asked, boredly.

"Whoever has the shortest stick." Tobi said.

"That sounded Wrong." muttered Kisame.

"Pick one." Kakuzu said, showing 10 popsicle sticks, appearing equal in length.

"Congrats, Hidan goes first!" Sasori said, yawing and sitting down, as Hidan got restrained and hooked up to the lie detector machine.

"Ladies first. Konan, ask Hidan a question that can only be answered True or False, unn." Deidara explained, sighing.

"Payback Time." Konan muttered, smirking. "Hidan, would you ever fuck a guy?" she asked, he face expressionless.

"No!" Hidan screamed. The machine started beeping, and everyone screamed "FALSE!!"

"Hn." Konan said, smirking arrogantly.

"Fuck you, bitch." muttered Hidan.

"Hahaha, Nice one, Konan-san!" Kisame had already started a laughing fit, and had just barely calmed down. Only because Itachi bonked him in the head.

"Hidan-san, did you ever steal one of your friends girlfriend, and sleep with her?" asked Tobi.

"Hell yeah!" Hidan said, smirking like the arogant guy that he is.

"Man whore." Konan muttered under her breath.

"Hn. Heard that." Hidan said, glaring at Konan.

"Wow, there are two Itachi's. One there," Konan pointed at Itachi," And one here." She pointed at Hidan.(A/N: See #1 in the authors' notes if you can't figure it out.)

"HEY! FUCK YOU, YOU GODDAMN BITCH!" yelled Hidan.

"Hn" Itachi glared at Konan, while most of the other gys tried to hold their laughter in.

"Can we please get on with the gaaaame?" Groaned Tobi, his mask shining slightly. OMG, he's smiling.

"Are you gay?" Was all Itachi could ask Hidan, in his famed Uchiha monotone.

"Fuck no." Hidan said. The machine signaled that he was telling the truth.

"Then why did you say you would sleep with a guy?" asked Zetsu.

" 'Cause I would, if Jashin told me to." answered Hidan.

" Did you like any of those Konaha kunoichi?" asked Kakuzu, cheekily.

"Those whores? They're worse then Konan." Hidan said, glaring.

"Did he just call me a whore?" Konan asked Pein, who nodded.

"Don't kill Hidan." Pein muttered to her.

"That bastard is imortal." Konan said, sighing.

"Still, please restrain yourself from injuring him until the game is over." Pein said.

"Hai, Pein-sama." Konan said, as she watched Hidan answer the rest of his questions.

"Whose next, unn?" asked Deidara.

"Next up is.." Tobi said.

**_TBC_**

* * *

My first Akatsuki fic. Sorry if I didn't get the characters portrayed correctly. Just let me know so I can improve, and yes, they are all alive. Especially Deidara, who has the most awesomest hair ever!

A/N #1: Seeing as Itachi smirks arrogantly and then glares and Hns, it's like he's acting like Itachi.. or actually, like Sasuke... whatever.


	4. Chapter 4

Naruto is extremely unlikely to ever be owned by me. Or anyone else besides Masahi Kishimoto

**Pairings:** KonanPein

**Diary of the Unknown**

"Next up is.." Tobi said.

"WHO?" Kisame, Deidara and Zetsu(White) asked.

"KONAN-CHAN!" Screamed Tobi, and bam, everyone turned to stare at the Kunoichi.

"Great, Torture time." She muttered under her breath, sitting down on the chair.

"Itachi-san, you go first!" Tobi screeched, leaving everyone partially deaf. And extremely annoyed.

"Hn." Was all the Uchiha could grunt out before continuing, "Konan, did you ever fuck anyone?"

"No." Muttered Konan, her cheeks flaming up.

"True?" Tobi asked, as Konan blushed an even deeper red. A red that could rival Hinata's.

"Just. Keep. asking. Dammit." Konan gritted through clenched teeth.

"Sheeshie. Deidara-sempai, you're next!" screamed Tobi in Deidara's ear, causing the blonde to jock punch Tobi. A few of the Akatsuki winced, and Konan was trying very hard not to burst out laughing at the sight of Uchiha Madara getting punched in the balls by a 20 year old blonde.

"Konan, woud you ever sleep with anyone in Akatsuki, unn?" Deidara asked boredly.

"Ano.... Eto..... A-Ano... Hai." Stuttered out Konan in a small voice. _/Sheesh, what is it with guys and sex?/_ she asked herself.

"WHO?" A few people asked(Mainly Hidan, Kisame and Zetsu blanc)

"Can't answer that. It has to be a True or False answer." Konan said smugly.

"Busu**(1)**." Muttered the Akatsuki, glaring. **(Busu means old bitch in Japanese)**

"So, Konan, are your abilities limited to paper ninjutsu?" Pein asked.

"No." Konan answered, giving Pein a 'I owe you big time!' glance.

"Konan-chan, would you ever do it with Pein?" asked Tobi lastly.

Everyone had taken turns asking the Kunoichi questions, and after 10 minutes of recovering from Deidara's ill intented punch, Tobi asked Konan the one question that made her heart stop beating, then resume at a fast pace, her cheeks to turn a previously unknown shade of dark red. She felt a few beads of sweat emerge on her pale skin, and her mouth to grow dry.

"An-ano.... Wata-watashi.... P-pein-sama.... it.. et-eto...." Konan whispered in a quiet voice. Everyone stared at her, their eyes wide(Or in a few cases, normal) Pein looked at her curiously, even he didn't know the answer.

"YES." Konan spoke quickly and loudly, and instantly regretted her stubborness. Everyone was looking from her, to Pein. Then back again.

"YOU ASSHOLES! I HATE ALL OF YOU!" Konan shouted, running, grabbing her journal, and she ran away, her tears mixing with the ever present rain of Amagakure.

_Dear Diary,_

_Today I admitted to wanting to sleep with Pein. Stupid Tobi, stupid stubborness, stupid.. stupid everyone! I love Pein with all my heart, and now it's probably all ruined. My love of me life hates me. GODDAMMIT!!! Fuck, fuck, fuck! '_

Putting away her journal, she ran into the nearest hotel, and with a glare, the innkepper lead her towards a luxury room. Being 'God's Angel' did have it's many perks.

**_TBC_**

* * *

My first Akatsuki fic. **PLEASE LEAVE ME SUGGESTIONS!!!!! I'M BEGGING YOU!!! I'LL EVEN THROW IN ANY AKATSUKI PLUSHIE YOU WANT! EVEN DEIDARA AND ITACHI!!!! LOL**

Sorry if I didn't get the characters portrayed correctly.

Just let me know so I can improve, and yes, they are all alive.

Especially Deidara, who has the most awesomest hair ever! And eyeliner... KAWAII!! (Half fangirl)


End file.
